A New More Thoughtful Way To Live

Brams Team Blog

How Can We All Lead Happier and More Fulfilling Lives?

Hi, I’m Bob Brams of Bethesda, Maryland. I’m blessed with a loving wife and two children, and to be surrounded by close family and friends. I’ve also had a challenging and fulfilling legal career, handling complex matters around the world. Things seemed to be going well until my carefully constructed life just fell apart with a serious medical diagnosis. The core of my book, Forever Optimistic, explains how I’ve put back the pieces of a life-shattering medical diagnosis to change how I now approach life. 

In December 2014, I was diagnosed with brain cancer. The crushing news came at the most festive of times for my family, just as we were starting a holiday party in our home and shortly before the family was set to go on vacation. My book describes the difficult journey to try to beat this deadly disease and the series of complications that accompanied it.

We all face hardships, but after surviving serious medical complications, I truly believe we all have the capacity to stand up to any personal crisis with the right mindset. Give yourself a high five in the mirror in the morning and keep moving forward!

When I was younger, I would sometimes think about how I would react and what would I do if I came face to face with a life-threatening disease. The diagnosis of brain cancer — I  couldn’t think of a bigger personal crisis. But I never thought it would happen to me. Doesn’t that always happen to the other guy? Well guess what? This time, I was that other guy and my life was totally rocked. 

I’m 55 years old and living the life I had always dreamed of. All of the sudden in December 2015, I found that I’m in fight of my life. At the worst of it, I was given only a 1% chance of survival, I was the sickest person in the neuro ICU, and I was described as a “catastrophic loss.” The medical math had essentially given up on me. But my family and friends didn’t, and I surely didn’t either.

After surfacing from a coma, I struggled to walk, think, and speak. I went through years of physical, occupational and speech therapy, starting with 24/7 care during rehabilitation. After the first of my two brain surgeries, I had too many life-threatening complications, including a brain bleed, a grand mal seizure, a coma, life support and even hemophilia. Now in 2023, I’m still feeling and seeing the effects of radiation and chemotherapy. While I still have the cancer and will have regular MRIs for life, I am truly grateful to be alive! We can dwell on how unlucky I was to be diagnosed with with cancer. However, I prefer to focus on how fortunate I am to be in the lucky 1% that has survived it.

Sometimes people ask, “How do go forward in life knowing you have brain cancer?” You can panic (my initial thought). You can hide in denial. Or you can choose, like I have, to make lemonade out of some pretty sour lemons. For 35 years, my passion was my family and my legal career. While family remains my passion, I was forced to retire from my law firm and have replaced that void with a new passion: that is to help in the battle to beat brain cancer. I want to help the world in a bigger and more meaningful way. 

While I’ve always been a pretty positive guy, I decided to approach my life with total optimism and — create a “new me.” Feeling as though you’re helping the world in a meaningful way brings me happiness. We all have a death sentence from the moment we’re born. The question becomes how do you find a meaningful way to live.

It’s not easy to block out all the negative thoughts, but with hard work, the right mindset, and a lot of practice, you can approach every challenge with strength, determination, and positive energy. In the aftermath of my medical crisis and with an uncertain prognosis, I was forced to carefully reflect on my life and consider my family’s future. What worked and what hasn’t? 

My book, Forever Optimistic discusses the importance of finding and following your passion — in school and a career, in finding love, friendship, and happiness —and by attacking your challenges head-on. Taking on my health crisis, I’ve learned not to set my standards too high for finding miracles. I’ve come to appreciate that life’s simplest moments and milestones are the miracles. Just taking a walk on a beautiful, sunny blue day is a miracle. A pleasant lunch with close friends — another miracle. Weddings and the birth of a child or grandchild—two more miracles!

Facing what I did, it helps you to better appreciate all the pleasant events in your life, however modest they might be because you know all too well just how fragile life truly is. So you always hug your family members and close friends; because hugs spread warmth and energy and we could all use more of that.

Whether you’re facing your own challenges, you’re a parent with kids who are struggling, or you just want to change your mindset to lead a happier and more meaningful life, I hope you find my book helpful. I think you’ll find that you’re a lot stronger than you think. You can rise to the occasion, meet any difficult challenge, and never give up. I learned a lot about how I needed to react in life. When one faces a serious problem, you need to respond. Falling on your sword and giving up is definitely not the answer.

Staying positive, strong and determined have helped me to get through the most serious of crises. And, surprisingly enough, despite all that’s happened, I still feel happy. More than ever, I appreciate every sunrise and the blessing just to be alive. Helping the world in a bigger way gives me purpose and direction and has helped me achieve happiness. Throughout life, our ability to rise to the occasion to address a serious problem is what defines us.

Love to Hear Your Thoughts

Addressing a major loss or challenge or serious health issue? Dealing with a struggling child, a medical diagnosis, or hardships with school or your career, may not be the sole issue. Rather, it is as much the way we respond to problems that define who we are and how it impacts us.

Please share your thoughts and struggles below. We want to hear more about how you have productively dealt with the challenges you have faced or now face and found happiness. As I did, I hope you find writing down your thoughts both cathartic and therapeutic. You may find you’re much stronger than you think!